So, for those of you who don’t know me, allow me to introduce myself (I cannot help but read that like JayZ). Hola I’m Kimberly Jones, I prefer Kim. I’ve been doing hair since 2006. I am the proud founder of Roots Radicals Salon, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, established in 2012. It hasn’t been an easy journey, my venture into becoming a salon owner, but very rewarding to say the least, I’ll save that for later blog posts.
I want to take a little bit of a detour from my usual blog posts to touch on a topic that is a little bit more important, or better yet that solidifies the foundation of having great hair and in turn a better perception of ourselves.
I can say my clientele is pretty balanced between men and women. What is not balanced though, is the way in which they address themselves. Unfortunately, more often than not, women might start our conversations with a subtle self deprecating remark and proceed to put themselves down throughout our whole appointment together, unbeknownst to themselves. It is subtle but the more I notice it, the more profound a mark it has left on me. Because I SEE MYSELF DOING IT TOO!
Men rarely do this.
They are either not interested in divulging this with me or it’s just not on their radar. This is most likely because of the pressure for women to be every and all things while still being held to the highest level of attractiveness. It most definitely isn't because they are not comfortable to share intimate thoughts with me, they do, trust me. It’s just that most men aren’t picking themselves apart as we women do, again , myself included. The carefree bliss that must come along with this freedom must be glorious.
And my sisters I want that for us.
So what I have been doing to start to achieve this for us is…
Showing you ladies the mirror.
The figurative one, not the floor length one you sit in front of in my chair, the one that says “hey, did you hear what you just said?”.
My aesthetician, whom I adore dearly and has changed my skin for the better, that also is another blog post, fellow fierce boss lady Elizabeth Taylor (owner of True Beauty in Williamsburg) made me aware that I am guilty of it as well. I have been sharing this observation more and more with my female clientele and have been getting phenomenal feedback.
Which is why I am hoping to share it with a wider audience.
Screaming it from my virtual mountaintop.
It’s important to hear, be reminded, that we are enough, just the way we are.
Anything else is just improving. In this moment right now, which is all we really have, we are whole and perfectly ourselves.
LET THAT SINK IN.
The thoughts and underhanded comments we make about ourselves cut more than we realize. It becomes a narrative that is more disparaging than we are aware of. Our subconscious starts to believe this and replay it back on a constant sick loop of self doubt and deprecation.
Everyone does this, not just women. Everyone can benefit from this message. My point is that I hear it from women way more than men, so much more, that it prompted me to write about it and actively talk about it.
Some women sit down in my chair and right in the beginning of the consultation start with a negative comment about their looks. I stop it right there.
I know it is unnerving to sit in front of a large mirror and talk about one’s appearance but how can we rock what is going to be an amazing haircut and/or color ::wink wink:: if we don’t have the most important accessory?
Oh what accessory is that you ask?
The confidence that allows you to don whatever look that compliments your face shape, lifestyle, hair type etc. It’s confidence that shines through all the extra adornment and trappings. I’m not necessarily saying this so we are more attractive. That would feed into exactly what I’m speaking out against. I’m saying it so we can be a little more free.
Free to live more meaningful lives. Lives of purpose and fulfillment. Inner calm begets outer calm. How can we do that if we are inside our heads all day with these limiting beliefs on loop? It starts with being aware of that narrative. Once we can identify and see those comments for what they are. We can start challenging those thoughts and change the negative feed. Then we can feel light and in turn we can shine our light bright for others to see and feel. It’s infectious. And maybe in that lightness, we can spread joy and pay it forward.
And we can just have a little bit more kindness radiating in the world today.
So remember, whoever you are, when you sit down in front of any mirror, not just a stylists, most especially your own, be kind to yourself. Say nice things in the mirror. Thoughts become things. Our reality is what we make it. Make yours a great one. Start now! All we have is right now.
Now thats beauty.