The First Things Your Stylist Should Ask You

Have you ever wondered why you've gone through so many expensive shampoos and conditioners only to be left feeling betrayed by the stellar reviews and recommendations? Why do you own so many half empty bottles of products recommended by a stylist, magazine article or swindled by clever marketing? Let's address the first issue: How often do you shampoo? If you just said every day I might have just cringed a little. It's a vicious cycle to break but for most people it can be done. Now keep in mind, this is not a one size fits all approach to hair care. I will break it down by hair types and specifics but always ask your trusted and knowledgeable hair stylist for their daily regimen suggestions. Shampooing everyday, for really fine hair, sometimes is a necessity but try to keep it during the work week in order to give hair/scalp/wallet a break. For those that find themselves excessively sudsing up, make sure you "lube" your hair up before the actual deed by running a light hair oil throughout your strands before you shampoo. It acts as a buffer from the drying effects of shampoo. For fine hair, I recommend misting with a product like Repair Emulsion from Aestalance. It won't leave hair greasy afterwards. For thicker drier hair try jojoba oil, Aestalance's Repair Oil or Shu Uemura's Essence Absolue depending upon your hair budget. I am a huge fan of coconut oil but not for hair. It is drying - contrary to popular belief. I've seen it just coat hair and little else. I've seen it work miracles on my daughter's eczema. I like to cook with it. Just don't put it on your hair. Use jojoba oil. It's closer to our own sebum (natural oils). We don’t want build up. We want the exact opposite. Clean hair that can accept moisture. Now to the art of actually shampooing your scalp. Yes that's right, your scalp. Not your hair. Meaning if you have long enough hair for a ponytail, you're only going to shampoo what makes up the top portion of your pony. The other side of the ponytail holder is meant for conditioner only! What you rinse from your scalp will cleanse the mid shaft and ends. Trust me, it's sufficient. Now, my curly haired girls if you’re shampooing once a week and have a coarse hair shaft and/or low porosity, then you’re going to start detangling with your shampoo. Raking your fingers through. This does not mean aggressively rubbing shampoo on ends. No one should be aggressive when it comes to their hair or body. It is our temple, treat it as such. In my opinion, no one should go longer than a week without shampooing (aside from health issues). With your salon quality shampoo, start with a half dollar sized dollop and add water to emulsify, not more shampoo. You're probably used to using too much. Have your shampoo and conditioner be the first thing you do in the shower. Your conditioner will be the last thing you rinse before you get out. That way you have enough time for your conditioner (mask) to stay on and do more. My mantra "everyone has time for a hair mask". If you shower you do and, well, we know you shower. Pay close attention to massaging your shampoo in and not just mussing your hair around your head. The purpose is to break up sebum and other deposits on the scalp and stimulate the hair follicles. Now, after you've finished properly shampooing and rinsing well, squeeze out as much water as possible. I find towel drying a little excessive because, let's face it, most of us won't do it. Also I like a little slickness in the hair, it allows for ease of application and stretches the product out better. Using less is more. Start conditioner application at the bottom and work your way up. In doing so, your product placement is going to where it needs it the most. Hair is dead (that’s right gals and guys!) but the ends are really really dead. So show them love. For fine hair stop at the mid shaft. For thicker, dry, or curly hair it's ok to apply the remainder of conditioner to the top. It shouldn't weigh it down if you're using a salon quality and suited for your hair type product. Again, proceed with caution - don’t get a fresh dollop for your scalp! Leaving a Wet Brush (the best detangling brush EVER) in your shower is key! Wide tooth combs are a thing of the past, relics to be scoffed at. In all seriousness, a detangling brush is the most unsung weapon in your hair arsenal. Brush your conditioner through for even distribution. Clip it up and out of the way, that way the ends, where it's needed the most, stays saturated and out of the spray of the shower head. Once you're ready to get out make sure to rinse out your conditioner well. I don't believe in leaving some in for use as a leave in. That can lead to build up and an unattractive sheen that robs you of the truly clean hair shine. If it's not a leave in then don't leave it in. Wrap hair in your towel or pat dry instead of aggressively rubbing the towel around your head. That roughs up the cuticle and can create frizz or even breakage on fragile strands! You need a microfiber turban! It will change your life. Last but definitely not least, let's briefly tackle the second issue. You have bought so many products and you're sick of hearing what's the next new hot thing you'll be wasting money on. If you start changing how you use your products, like we discussed, then you might like the ones you already have, or this will help you find ones you'll love. For fine, frequent shampooers, blondes highlighted or natural, and chemically stressed/over processed hair a gentle, preferably one with protein, shampoo is essential. For fine hair, I love Aestalance's DF or GL shampoo or Davines' Melu shampoo. For coarse dry hair, Davines' Oi shampoo or Aestalance's MC shampoo. For conditioner Aestalance's Protein mask is a top seller in my salon or Davines' Nou Nou mask. How much you use depends on your hair type but those aforementioned are suitable for many across the board. When in doubt ask your hair care professional. That's what we are here for, to educate you, not to sell you product you don't need. If your stylist isn't telling you these things...look for one who will. Next time we will delve into appropriate products and tools usage! Knowledge is wealth and beauty! 

So, for those of you who don’t know me, allow me to introduce myself (I cannot help but read that like JayZ). Hola I’m Kimberly Jones, I prefer Kim. I’ve been doing hair since 2006. I am the proud founder of Roots Radicals Salon, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, established in 2012. It hasn’t been an easy journey, my venture into becoming a salon owner, but very rewarding to say the least, I’ll save that for later blog posts. I want to take a little bit of a detour from my usual blog posts to touch on a topic that is a little bit more important, or better yet that solidifies the foundation of having great hair and in turn a better perception of ourselves. I can say my clientele is pretty balanced between men and women. What is not balanced though, is the way in which they address themselves. Unfortunately, more often than not, women might start our conversations with a subtle self deprecating remark and proceed to put themselves down throughout our whole appointment together, unbeknownst to themselves. It is subtle but the more I notice it, the more profound a mark it has left on me. Because I SEE MYSELF DOING IT TOO! Men rarely do this. They are either not interested in divulging this with me or it’s just not on their radar. This is most likely because of the pressure for women to be every and all things while still being held to the highest level of attractiveness. It most definitely isn't because they are not comfortable to share intimate thoughts with me, they do, trust me. It’s just that most men aren’t picking themselves apart as we women do, again , myself included. The carefree bliss that must come along with this freedom must be glorious. And my sisters I want that for us. So what I have been doing to start to achieve this for us is… ::drum roll:: Showing you ladies the mirror. The figurative one, not the floor length one you sit in front of in my chair, the one that says “hey, did you hear what you just said?”. My aesthetician, whom I adore dearly and has changed my skin for the better, that also is another blog post, fellow fierce boss lady Elizabeth Taylor (owner of True Beauty in Williamsburg) made me aware that I am guilty of it as well. I have been sharing this observation more and more with my female clientele and have been getting phenomenal feedback. Which is why I am hoping to share it with a wider audience. Screaming it from my virtual mountaintop. It’s important to hear, be reminded, that we are enough, just the way we are. Anything else is just improving. In this moment right now, which is all we really have, we are whole and perfectly ourselves. LET THAT SINK IN. The thoughts and underhanded comments we make about ourselves cut more than we realize. It becomes a narrative that is more disparaging than we are aware of. Our subconscious starts to believe this and replay it back on a constant sick loop of self doubt and deprecation. Everyone does this, not just women. Everyone can benefit from this message. My point is that I hear it from women way more than men, so much more, that it prompted me to write about it and actively talk about it. Some women sit down in my chair and right in the beginning of the consultation start with a negative comment about their looks. I stop it right there. I know it is unnerving to sit in front of a large mirror and talk about one’s appearance but how can we rock what is going to be an amazing haircut and/or color ::wink wink:: if we don’t have the most important accessory? Oh what accessory is that you ask? Confidence. The confidence that allows you to don whatever look that compliments your face shape, lifestyle, hair type etc. It’s confidence that shines through all the extra adornment and trappings. I’m not necessarily saying this so we are more attractive. That would feed into exactly what I’m speaking out against. I’m saying it so we can be a little more free. Free to live more meaningful lives. Lives of purpose and fulfillment. Inner calm begets outer calm. How can we do that if we are inside our heads all day with these limiting beliefs on loop? It starts with being aware of that narrative. Once we can identify and see those comments for what they are. We can start challenging those thoughts and change the negative feed. Then we can feel light and in turn we can shine our light bright for others to see and feel. It’s infectious. And maybe in that lightness, we can spread joy and pay it forward. And we can just have a little bit more kindness radiating in the world today. So remember, whoever you are, when you sit down in front of any mirror, not just a stylists, most especially your own, be kind to yourself. Say nice things in the mirror. Thoughts become things. Our reality is what we make it. Make yours a great one. Start now! All we have is right now. Now that's beauty.